you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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