i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
