if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
