woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
