it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
