I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
