He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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