FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
