i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How external is "for external use only"?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
