a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
