Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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