Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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