YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bring me that man meat
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
