just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
