The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
