That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize