I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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