I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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