I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
