seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
