Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
