I am puke
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They took my balls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
