Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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