My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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