i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
