We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
