Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
