The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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