Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
