And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
