I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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