trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
