Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
