DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
