At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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