In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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