Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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