and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
