he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So squirting runs in the family.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize