Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
