Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize