pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
