he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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