I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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