If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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