the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
