Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
