On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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