Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
