do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize