I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
