taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
