i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have fence marks all over my body
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
