I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
