Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
