sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
