I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
